It's a windy night the moon is out and the stars are twinkling and there is a wee bit of rain on the wind. When I lived in Portaferry it was on nights like this that perhaps the electricity went out. I aways liked it why? because well because I think it is important to remember that we are only visitors on this planet of ours and when the electrcity goes out we are reminded of how much we rely on it and we are not adapted anymore to live without such luxurys.
So in case of an emergency you always had candles and a torch under the kitchen cupboard so you could always find them. Good to still have some sort of open fire to have heat and to boil a kettle and gas somewhere to cook something. I'm not sure where that came from but maybe it was from my grandfather who during the second world war was a warden in Belfast who went around making sure people had their curtains closed and were prepared for any blitz boomings.
There was an air raid shelter on the top of Bankmore in Portaferry where the local home guard used to spend time watching out for enemy airplanes. My grandmother was one of them she used to laugh when she talked about it . I remember her also talking about the troops from America and elsewhere that were billited in the fields and gardens of the locals. I believe they created quite a stir and I'm sure there is some US genes in the local population .
Not sure if anyone has researched it though. Can you imagine life without electricity ? we might have to if they don't get the power problem sorted out. What power problem? well aparently NI power stations are coming to the end of their lifecycle and as the assembly has not got their act together they have not agreed to what is going to happen to renew it so we have to do with less electricity or maybe none??? can you imagine that? could you cope?? what would you do? sales of candles would go up and not just the perfumed kind So it's important to switch off your lights anyway.
Otherwise we will be having to rely on the moon for our light?
I'd like to say a bit again about my opening night, sometimes things take sometime to filter through. As an artist on your opening night you are very vunrable , I remember being at a private view in the Engine room gallery and a women went up to the artists and basically attacked him verbally by asking him to explain what it was he was doing the poor guy nearly had a breakdown in front of her. For me I was feeling a bit exposed, I know different people came up to talk to me and there were some verbal attacks that I felt and I know some people were seeing that creative side of me for the first time and that might be a bit wierd for them as in some circles people are used to seeing me in a very different light. That can be threatening and disconcerting.
So I'd like to tell you a story...............when I came back to NI with my first class degree and fulbright scholarship I wanted to come back to NI and help do something . I quickly learned that in order for people to take me seriously I actually had to hide my creativity. I had to pretend to be average in order to get opportunities as they were very suspicious of us " creative types" How does that bode for Northern Ireland? we are supposed to be supporting creativity and whats happening ?? many of the powers that be, dont understand it many of them have never had a creative thought in their life??
I did hear one on the radio the other day Margaret Richie I think it was was buying houses in Lurgan? again thats where I think it was as she said it was mad to have people on the housing lists and then lots of new build houses not being able to be sold. So that was a creative though and it worked well.
Do you feel the old world order slipping away?? cracking away? what constitutes right action??
Do you recycle? all these things have an impact.
I'm reminded of something else when I write this blogg. I remember reading a book about a writer he was talking about when he wrote something down in his books lots of people attacked him because they thought they were talking about them specifically. He found this very strange as he had not been thinking about them at all but what he had written had resinated with the individuals and so they attacked him for it because they did not like what they read.
I think it goes back again to your inner life taking time for yourself and reflexion. Where do you find sustainence ? If your stuck in the city I'd recommend going to a park www.belfastcity.gov.uk will tell you your closest one. There is something about the energy and wellness feeling you get when you get your lungs filled with fresh air this is good for kids as well. I was down in Sandy Row last week and there was a women with a child she was dragging him along. They were sitting beside a little garden the child just kept saying, I wanna go to the park, I wanna go to the park and she just kept dragging him along.
If she had of maybe just let him run in the park for an hour I'm sure he would have been better the rest of the evening. It's a kind of earth energy.
It's a kind of magic.
I believe in the power of being outside and having fresh air. That's why sailing can be so fantastic if not a little scarry.
I also wanted to say something about consultants as I think I may have hit a raw nerve with some people. I know there are alot of consultants doing very good work in very difficult conditions and that is to be applauded. But that is not always the case and let your concious be your guide.
Personally where I am at now, I do work voluntary, I get paid alot for some work I do and and I get paid little for bits I do and the important thing is that I decide on what I want to put my energy into. Not someone else thats the joy of self employment. Each time I decide to get involved in something I ask myself. Will this help with change? Do I have the energy? and those decisions help me figure out where to spend my time. This has not always been the case and I have sometimes gone into things and realised too late that perhaps this had not always been the case.
Anway back to begrudgery ? who do you begrudge today ? what mean spirited thing did you think of today? Would you be better off thinking some positive thoughts ? Cleansing your thought process. Or is the begrudgery too engrained in your being?
Why not think a different thought a positive thought. It will stop you frowning . Thats the other thing I read somewhere a smile uses half the muscles (or somewhere around there)that a frown does. I like smiling maybe that helps with the wrinkles as well.
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